Tragedy Strikes


This post will be short, not necessarily sweet.  My husband is my Knight in shining armor.  A Brit who in 2005 after dating me 2 months, felt guilt and terrible grief.  Guilt for being happy and in love and grief as he still was tormented and grieving his late wife who died from cancer.  Because of these feelings, he left suddenly for London where his family and friends were.  I never knew why and was devastated, vowing to put up a wall and forget him forever.

Two years later, in September 2007 he returned for me.  He was over his late wife and knew I was to be in his life.  In February of 2009 he proposed on his knees saying he couldn’t conceive of a life without me in it and wanted to wake up beside me every day.  The man of my dreams. 

Now the tragedy:  My husband apparently still suffered a grief which manifested into depression.  On Tuesday, he took his life.  Gone forever.  I’m struggling with all the emotions from pain and torment, to anger and grief.  I wail and miss him so much.  I love him deeply.

I write this in my blog because it is helping me to write and talk out those feelings in order to deal with this unbelievably difficult stress. 

From me to you, hug and kiss your loved ones.  Make amends always – don’t let your pride keep you apart.  Life is absolutely too short when you least expect it to be and you never know when you’ll lose that certain someone.

Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
~Author Unknown
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2 comments on “Tragedy Strikes

  1. I doubt that I could say anything to ease your pain; however, I am so very sorry for your loss. You wrote this in May and now it’s January of 2011. I hope you can write more about this–to yourself, for yourself, and even for those of us who might have contemplated suicide in our pasts. I’ve known depression/anxiety most of my life, and I would read you and empathize with your loss. My sincerest sympathy.

    • Hello and thank you so much for your comment. I actually had two blogs and decided to continue this theme on my other blog here: http://mypreretirementmusings.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/keep-the-faith-in-yourself/

      You can click on that link or copy and paste it into your browser. I’ve continued to write on this subject in different ways and hope that my readers, yourself included, will benefit and perhaps even share some of the info to others who may benefit.

      In these 8 months since the tragedy, it has been quite the journey and I have further to go. But my path is a little better now and this progress helps me to continue.

      My hope is to reach others who either know depression and/or suicide within their family, friends or loved ones groups, or those who may know someone who would be interested or even may need a gentle encouragement or push.

      Again thank you so much for your kindness. And do feel free to share.

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