This post will be short, not necessarily sweet. My husband is my Knight in shining armor. A Brit who in 2005 after dating me 2 months, felt guilt and terrible grief. Guilt for being happy and in love and grief as he still was tormented and grieving his late wife who died from cancer. Because of these feelings, he left suddenly for London where his family and friends were. I never knew why and was devastated, vowing to put up a wall and forget him forever.
Two years later, in September 2007 he returned for me. He was over his late wife and knew I was to be in his life. In February of 2009 he proposed on his knees saying he couldn’t conceive of a life without me in it and wanted to wake up beside me every day. The man of my dreams.
Now the tragedy: My husband apparently still suffered a grief which manifested into depression. On Tuesday, he took his life. Gone forever. I’m struggling with all the emotions from pain and torment, to anger and grief. I wail and miss him so much. I love him deeply.
I write this in my blog because it is helping me to write and talk out those feelings in order to deal with this unbelievably difficult stress.
From me to you, hug and kiss your loved ones. Make amends always – don’t let your pride keep you apart. Life is absolutely too short when you least expect it to be and you never know when you’ll lose that certain someone.
Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.